Fricken A

     As I was growing up my mother told me never to swear. Never. I wasn't even allowed to say Oh my God. Very conservative. But as a I grew up and went to public school, I found I was surrounded by people using the bad words more and more. I learned new words that were completely foreign to me. I didn't really use them during my middle school years. I remember the first time I used a naughty word. It made my stomach churn. I was afraid to.

    Even as a freshman, my capacity for swearing was rather low. Then when later in my high school years it became easier and easier the more I would say the words. Now it seems to be amazingly easy. I can literally swear and feel nothing. Before I thought "Hey I can think of more clever ways to insult people, I don't need those words! I can describe things without saying f*** every other word" and I can. I can insult people without swearing. I can describe things without saying F***. But sometimes I just can't help it. I can't seem to find the words to say what I mean and the swear words describe them perfectly. But when I hear other people swear constantly, it makes me look at them differently. They don't sound intelligent.

     What I've been contemplating is whether or not I should swear. Or how much I should swear. Or whatever. Because believe me sometimes it is just great.
    There is this kid who I'm pretty sure wants to get in my pants, but you couldn't pay me to. I mean I know I'm not the hottest shiz, but I've got some self respect. So basically he wanted me to text him, and I tried to divert him from wanting me to by saying...
(which is a lie)
I had been talking to my friend about it and when I got that message (on FB) I took a picture and sent it to her with the label F**************************CK. She had told me to just say no but of course I didn't want to be mean, so that's how I tried to get him to not talk to me. Did not work out. I tried again...

(Bigger lie)
Fricken No. It didn't work AGAIN. I again texted this picture to my friend with the same label as the one before. She replied "He just practically said he loved you already. He accepts all your faults and wants to love you forever" I died laughing at that.
But I know I kinda got off track with that story but what I was trying to say was that what else could I have said that would show my frustration as well? At the same time I would love to be so intellectual that I don't need these words.


Dannnggg it. I thought typing it out would help me make a choice, but I'm so much more confused.
I think I'm not going to stop swearing, but I'll tone it down. The less I swear, the more effect those words will have when I do use them. Sound good? Now swearing isn't for everyone and if you don't like to swear, I would so support that option because that shows strength and self power and that is something I'm jealous of. Fricken yes.
I think it's something you have to figure out for yourself. Do whatever is right for you and your situation.


Come on Babe
Faith